


Fix These Broken Pieces (& Let Go)

by daydream_jjh



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Mark is briefly mentioned, also this is my first fic but its so sad, i just listened to a lot of sad sam smith, i wrote this bc i was bored, pls im not always emo, so are Jisung and Jaemin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 09:59:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19082728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydream_jjh/pseuds/daydream_jjh
Summary: Johnny and Taeyong put Jaehyun back together again.





	Fix These Broken Pieces (& Let Go)

Jaehyun barely winces as the alcohol slides down his throat. It doesn't sting anymore, at least not the way it should. Not in the way it used to when he went out partying with his friends or with her.He knows it is supposed to burn his throat and he's supposed to feel somewhat of a residual heat there, something that will linger and stay with him for the night, but it's not there. He doesn't feel it. 

He doesn't really feel anything.

It's been hours, hours that somehow morphed into days in which he remained sat in the now eerily vacant apartment, drinking from the myriad of aesthetically pleasing pristine bottles of alcohol that she had only bought for decoration. Jaehyun takes a little bit of satisfaction at opening the bottles and draining them of their contents, smashing the empty glass bottles on the hardwood floor when the liquor is gone. Jaehyun doesn't know why he breaks them, he just does. He ignores the unremitting ringing of the phone, the persistent slamming of hands on the door begging him to let them in, to let them help him. He blocks out their voices, drowning them in whatever playlist is running over his speakers and pretends that this is okay. 

Jaehyun doesn't want help. 

He wants to be left alone, he wants to not feel anything for a little while longer. 

But Jaehyun never gets what he wants, if he did maybe she would still be here. The lock on the apartment door turns, and light from the hallway pours into the darkness Jaehyun had been hiding himself in. Jaehyun knows this is the point in which he's reached his lowest low, his friends have come to be the buoy that stops him from drowning in the storm of his heartbreak. Jaehyun's brain hazily curses his previously sensible self for giving Doyoung a spare key to his apartment, he'd done it in case of emergency. He guesses that's what his friends are deeming this, an emergency. Jaehyun doesn't even look up at the sound though, he doesn't want to see the looks on their faces, the telltale signs of pity and shock that Jaehyun had become a shell of who he was. The Jaehyun they had grown up with and loved was gone, and this stranger was sat in his place.

Jaehyun didn't want them to know that he'd let her walk out with all the best parts of himself, and left the broken pieces for someone else to clean up. 

"Jaehyun?" Jaehyun knows that voice. He could pick that voice out in a crowd of screaming people. Of course, it's Johnny, stable and reliable, Johnny. His best friend that had always been beside him. "Jaehyun, c' mon dude, let's get you cleaned up." His voice was softer, it sounded more like the tone he used with Jisung when the child was sad, or with his younger brother Mark when he was on the verge of a panic attack. Jaehyun had never had this tone of voice directed at him. And then Johnny was moving him, but Jaehyun knew he wasn't doing it alone. There was another pair of strong arms, presumably Yukhei because God knows that nobody else would be able to handle the 5 "11 deadweight that Jaehyun currently was. Jaehyun could barely focus on anything right now, his head felt light and dizzy, and everything was going in and out of focus quicker than Jaehyun could keep track of. With Jaehyun being hauled into the bathroom came the sudden abundance of light, bright white and clean. It was such a stark contrast to the darkness he had shrouded himself in. His eyes managed to focus on the side of Johnny's face, and Jaehyun could see where the slats of his bathroom blind cast shadows across Johnny's beautiful face. Jaehyun suddenly wished he was sober and had a camera to capture this view of Johnny. 

Just as quickly as the world began to focus again, it became a blur of sound and colour. Jaehyun could faintly hear Taeyong's voice, talking around him but not to him. Jaehyun tried half-heartedly to decipher what exactly Taeyong was saying, making out something about getting 'him' washed in the bath and that 'they' would sort out the living room and food in the meantime. As the second pair of hands left his side, Jaehyun leaned into Johnny, allowing the taller and older boy to take and support his weight. Jaehyun was set on ignoring the rest of the world and inhaling the way his best friend smelt. Fresh, rich coffee and a deep cologne, whichever one Johnny had chosen that morning. Jaehyung felt safe for the first time since she had walked out, face pressed against the crook of Johnny's neck, feeling the soft vibrations as he spoke. 

As the voices died down the sound of running water took over. Jaehyun continued to breathe in Johnny's scent while a new pair of deft hands began to pull his shirt from his torso, momentarily separating Jaehyun's face from the warm patch of skin that Johnny's jumper hadn't covered. Once the shirt was removed, Johnny held Jaehyun close, warm fingers drawing light circles on his shoulder blades. Taeyong's hands were cold against his skin as they pushed Jaehyun's sweats down his tired legs, leaving him in nothing but his boxers, which Taeyong then delicately rolled down his legs. 

Jaehyun wouldn't have cared if he was stark naked in front of the entire world at this point, he had lost all ability to care about himself. That part of him had gone with her, the part of him that gave a fuck about well, anything really. He vaguely heard another person enter the room, saying they would find fresh clothes and towels and bring them to Taeyong, leaving as quickly as they came. If Jaehyun were sober, then he would have placed the mumbled Chinese accent that Sicheng had never managed to shake, no matter how good his Korean had become.

Jaehyun's intoxicated mind was telling him that left just Johnny, who was still holding him upright due to Jaehyun having no willpower nor energy to do it himself, and Taeyong, who was swirling the water in the bath to ensure it wouldn't scald Jaehyun but was warm enough to be somewhat relaxing. Johnny attempted to manoeuvre the shorter man into the tub before he broke the silence in the room. "Work with me here dude, you gotta get in the tub." and god, the way Johnny sounded so pained made Jaheyun want to cry. And really, Jaehyun couldn't deny him this simple task, even if he was still leaning his weight onto Johnny, trying to feel something in the way Johnny smelt and how warm he was. Jaehyun nodded slowly stepping out of his boxers and carefully lifting one leg up and into the warm water with some help from Taeyong and letting the other leg follow. Jaehyun relished in the way the warm water lapped softly at his calves, reminiscent of the childhood days spent at the beach holding a very tiny Jaemin's hand as they paddled together squealing and laughing in delight.

Jaehyun fleetingly wondered if he'd ever feel that pure kind of joy ever again.

Sitting down as carefully as he could, letting the water wash over him Jaehyun mourned the feeling of Johnny's hands disappearing from under his arms, once Johnny was sure that Taeyong would be able to manage Jaehyun alone. He left the bathroom shortly after, but not before pressing a kiss to the crown of Jaehyuns head and whispering a quick 'I love you' into the hair that sat there.  
Taeyong watched him patiently for a few minutes, watching the way Jaehyun's chest rose and fell steadily with each breath. Taeyong soaked in the way the sunlight was cast across Jaehyun's back, making the honey of Jaehyun's skin shine. Taeyong steeled himself to not crumble at the way Jaehyun's unfocused gaze fell to his hand, and the way the rest in the water lifelessly.

Taeyong shook himself, and with a deep breath he set about washing Jaehyun's body, using the coconut body wash that he knew Jaehyun preferred, throwing the almost empty bottle of strawberry shower gel that she had left behind in the general vicinity of the bin. Taeyong prayed that Yuta was walking around with Doyoung and a trash bag collecting all the things she had left behind. He had seen Taeil set about cleaning the broken glass that covered the floor before he came into the bathroom.

Jaehyun resided to watch passively as his older friends hands left circular patterns of soaps suds along his arms and legs and chest. Jaehyun had almost forgotten how caring Taeyong was, at least caring towards him. Jaehyun wondered why, but he would never ask. Too scared to get an answer.

Jaehyun wanted to open his mouth and explain to Taeyong what had happened, how he had become this. Jaehyun wanted to clarify that he had spent the best part of two weeks screaming his lungs out at her, as she spat venom and hurled hate at him. She had ultimately packed her bags and gone a little over a week ago, leaving behind nothing but broken pieces in her wake, announcing through crocodile tears that she'd fallen in love with her boss and they were running away to be together. Jaehyun hated them both. But the words just wouldn't come out, they were stuck in the back of Jaehyun's throat. Jaehyun knew Taeyong would wait until Jaehyun could talk again, and would listen intently to every word.

Jaehyun didn't think he deserved Taeyong's kindness. Any of his friends' generosity really.

"You'll be okay Jae, I promise," Taeyong whispered into the silent space between them, one of Taeyong's lithe hands coming to rest against Jaehyun's cheek as a cold thumb wiped away the tears Jaehyun didn't know he was crying as they rolled down his cheeks. "We'll make sure you're okay, Jae." Taeyong finished, bringing Jaehyuns face to his chest and letting it rest there. Jaehyun could smell how clean his friend was, like baby powder and laundry detergent and something so inherently Taeyong. It gave him a sense of calm, the same feeling he got when he returned home for the holidays. It was different from the way Johnny smelt, but it was just as safe, just as comforting.

Jaehyun didn't trust his voice much, not after its lack of use for just over a week. But he tried anyway, his voice raw and throat itching as he uttered a single broken word. "Okay." he could hear how broken and bruised he sounded, and he imagined he looked just as bad. But he trusted Taeyong, and he believed his friends, and if they said he would be okay again then maybe, just maybe, he would be okay again.


End file.
